Late yesterday afternoon we filled Duncan's blow-up pool and let him splash around in it. It was like...I don't know...baby crack. He loves that pool. Then, I gave him the water hose and wow. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. And me? It was like Mommy Crack for me. I was sitting in a lawn chair, drinking a Coke Zero (that stuff is awesome) and thinking to myself, "this is one of those moments..." When our first son died, almost five years ago, I was certain that I would never feel joy again. One of the few clear memories I have from those black weeks and months after his death is of me sitting in a chair in my living room, across from my mother, weeping and saying I would never feel joy again. It's such a blackness...the death of your child...there aren't words that are sufficient to describe the pain and the hopelessness. I felt that way for most of the first year after Ziggy died. I thought of moments I would never have with him. Simple day-to-day stuff like having him on my hip as I cooked dinner, or having him next to me on the couch while I watched tv (I remember this very clearly, too, patting the empty space on the couch next to me, crying for him.) So now, when I have these moments with Duncan it is magical for me. Very simple things, like blow up alligator pools and having him on my hip while I cook dinner, and changing dirty diapers, and feeling his little fingers up my nose while I'm rocking him; they are magical for me. I soak up every moment of it and am so grateful for it. I thank God for every single poopy diaper and middle of the night cry. Every single one.
I met with my new trainer today. I cannot believe her name is Candy, but it is. Candy! A trainer named Candy. Anyway, she and I mapped out a plan for me and I am going to be hot. I've never been hot, so it's very exciting for me.
On a less hot note, Duncan cried the entire time I had him in the childcare center at the gym while I met with Candy. Can't I call her rice cake or something? Ugh.
So, I go to get him and he's being held, a good thing, but has red puffy eyes, snot running down his nose and really gets upset when he sees me. They told me he cried the entire time. I had a feeling it might be bad because he's clung to me like a baby monkey all day today.
I need to learn how to do more fancy things with my blog. Just figured out how to blog photos from Picasa, which rocks. But, I need to learn! More! Learn more things! Bathtime with dad, from last night.
Have friends here from Canada (everyone get that? friends from Canada...in Texas...in mid-July...k) and we are having such fun wearing out our children! Today we hit the toad fountains and tonight we are taking them for a gut buster of a southern dinner at Babe's. I will give details of dinner tomorrow but there will most likely be banana pudding involved.
I am doing really well with my allowance and have had money left over each week.
My weight loss has plateaued but I start working with a trainer next week so I am ready to kick into a new gear.
I hate to leave you hanging with such exciting news but I have to. There are mysterious noises coming from the kitchen.
And he didn't do a very good job. In fact, he left all of the clean laundry in the middle of the floor, unfolded. After he ate me out of house and home. And if you'll excuse me, I now have to go give him a bath.
Overall, we had a good weekend. Iain played hockey on Friday night and got home long after I was asleep. On Saturday, he took D to a play area at one of the nicer malls, to meet up with a friend and friend's two year old. Time for me! Hurrah! It is amazing what I can get done in a very short period of time when I am alone. Several loads of laundry, vacuum, dust, pick up clutter, change sheets, shower, blow dry my hair, and get lunch started for family coming over later.
Lunch was very fun, with Iain's dad and his wife, and sister and her husband. We had turkey burgers that totally impress (recipe is estimate...I rarely follow them exactly and this one is hard to mess up):
Gorgonzola-Pecan Turkey Burgers with Cranberry Mustard
1 lb. ground turkey meat
1 container crumbled gorgonzola cheese
1 cup (or so) chopped pecans (or walnuts)
Salt and Pepper to taste
Onion powder to taste (if desired)
Mix all ingredients and grill burgers...indoors or out.
Equal parts cranberry sauce (any kind you like...canned/fresh/jellied/with berries) and dijon mustard (in a pinch I've used regular ball park mustard and it's been fine) and 1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes (or more, depending on how hot you like it) and set aside while burgers cook. Spead on cooked burgers with whatever other condiments you like, but I stick to just lettuce and tomato with these since there are so many flavors going on already.
Company stayed until about six, when it was time for bath and bedtime routine.
On Sunday, we did not go to church because Iain has the terrible cold that I thought was killing me last week. Instead, I packed up Duncan and took him to the Dallas Arboretum for a stroll and a romp in the toad fountains. It was really hot but fun. He was a little freaked out by the giant toads but also strangely fascinated. His new thing is handing you, or pretending to hand to you, whatever he's got and then psyching you out by taking it back.
Oh my. Duncan is learning to walk, and at this point, can really only do it while walking behind something like this. He loves it. Very much. I think we did over twenty laps around the living/dining/kitchen space last night before stopping, and then it was met with much displeasure. Right now we are also experiencing displeasure! He is very, very tired but wanted to walk...could not decide what would win out. He'd push/walk...stop...cry with head on floor...get up...push/walk/cry/laugh. I finally took him and put him in his bed but no longer laughing. Just the crying part. I hate doing that. This is the first time he's really protested a nap because he did not want to be pulled away from something. But, I'm the mom, right? I know he's tired and must nap so I'm being Nap Enforcer. It's awful and I hate it. I don't know how long he'll go, but it's only been one minute at this point.
Okay, those of you with kids who are older, bear with me. But, how freaking adorable is it when babies learn to really play peek-a-boo? Or, as we call it, Where's Duncan? When they will take anything...newspaper in our case...and pull it over their face and wait for you to engage? He first did it in the drapes, and now does it with almost anything and it's the cutest thing...evah.
The money thing is going quite well, but no real fascinating updates there. It is a challenge, but if I've got specific goals in mind, I usually do quite well (see weight loss.)
It's Independence Day here in the states and we are off to a good start. Duncan usually ends up in bed with us, which means at least he and I are up by 6:30. Today, Iain got up with us. I fed Duncan - one frozen waffle and some milk - then we read the paper and had coffee while Duncan roamed around, being mischeivous but safe. We have a small house, and one open living/dining/kitchen area, most of which is pretty well baby proofed so it's fairly easy to do some things while knowing exactly where he is and what he's doing.
Later today we'll go to my mom's and sister's, drop him off, then go see a movie and go back to their house for swimming and 4th of July festivities before bringing home an exhausted one year old. Should be a fun day! Here's a picture from LAST 4th of July. I'll try to take one today in the same place. I'm not this fat anymore!