I'm going to be really honest about something. The term "best friend" kind of bugs me. As a child, it certainly didn't. I had several! Robin, from Day 1. We were inseparable. When I moved away at age 6, we stayed very close. We moved back to Texas after 8th grade, and once again, Robin and I fell right back into our friendship even though we went to different high schools. Best friends once again, and then college room mates and room mates again after she finished law school. Now living in Chicago, I still love her deeply and wish I could see her all the time.
However, during those years I also had Gina, currently living in Manhattan and still one of my closest and dearest even though we hardly get a chance to talk or see each other. Angela. We went to high school together and were also "best friends." And while we lived in New Jersey, I had Sue. Also, a bestie. See, things are already getting confusing.
Now, though, in my adult hood I have a growing disdain for the term. I know, I have issues. But truly, I have so many wonderful and amazing friends. Wish I could think of a word other than amazing. Great. Honorable. Kind. Loyal. Funny. Remarkable. A few have proven themselves to be in-the-trenches-loyal-to-the-bone and I know the minute I got the call that something horrible had happened they would immediately be at my side. Some I have had for 45 years and some for a fraction of that time...but I could not say that any one of them is the best. That would mean that others are not the best! Why does this bug me? I'm not completely sure but it does.
Instead of giving them labels, they just are. Some I see more often than others, some live far away, but all are great and so very important to me. I just don't think if someone said, "who is your best friend?" I could come up with a good answer.
Well, here we are...ten years later. The place I wanted to be. All of this is really effed up, you know because you can't get your head around it. If Z had lived, we most likely would not have had the life we have now...our path would have been different and I simply cannot imagine not having this life. See? Effed up. So we kind of walk away from those kinds of thoughts. They are not productive and get us nowhere.
While today isn't really like any other day, for the most part it will have to be! Iain is in Seattle and Duncan is out of school so the chaos of all three of them at home (for the third day in a row! with one more to go! gee willikers!) takes over. I had thought about taking all of them to the zoo but a clearer head prevailed this morning and think maybe the local library and Chick Fil A will do. Maybe we will Christen my new Kichen Aid? Make Aunt Becky a birthday card? It's kind of rainy and cloudy so indoor fun is best. Right now the boys have every blanket and pillow on Finn's bed and are pretending it's their ship and the carpet is the water. They have kidnapped Claire's teddy bear and just told her the bad news that her bear has been shredded up by Finn (a shark) in the ocean. That's pretty good.