Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I Wanna Play on a Team

Iain plays hockey on Friday nights, in an instructional league, but grew up playing in Montreal. He is delighted at Duncan's (age appropriate) passion for not just sports but hockey. The other day, Duncan put on Iain's helmet and instantly said, "I wanna play on a team, daddy." I think I saw tears of joy in Iain's eyes.

We are in the throws of trying to decide whether or not to pursue another pregnancy. I think this decision is more difficult, much more difficult, than the decision to try and have a baby when we got pregnant with Duncan, and even with Ziggy. We've won the lottery, haven't we? Why do we need more? So many arguments for and against. So, we continue to wrestle with it. We are under certain time constraints, so feel the need to decide immediately, like yesterday. But for some reason, we cannot.

Iain is still looking for a job in IT where he can use his MBA. I certainly hope 2008 holds at least that for us, if nothing else. Our lives seem so bogged down by his job misery, and job search. It seems as if we cannot move forward in any direction until this is resolved. I am certain it contributes to our struggle with another baby or not.

I have just showered and have a wet head, so must go. I have a few precious hours until I have to pick up Duncan from preschool! First day back after the Christmas break!
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1 comment:

  1. I can identify with that feeling... like greed... and the "magical thinking" of perhaps pushing fate/luck by wanting more of the joy you've already been given.

    (IMO) What is all comes down to, though, is whether or not you feel complete. Granted, you and Iain have a totally different experience that may cause you to NEVER feel "complete," and that breaks my heart.

    Whatever your decision, I hope you find peace with it, Christie. Being in limbo stinks!

    Awesome picture of Duncan, by the way! And hooray for him being ready to join a team! LOL