Pics I

A Family A-Fair

Sooooo...we took all three kids to the State Fair of Texas today. It was all you can imagine it to be. The day started out drizzly and gray, but not too bad. Just left Claire and Finn in their footie pajamas because, hey, they are babies and besides, I don't want their feet to get cold (foreshadowing). When Duncan is excited about going somewhere, he can be tough in the morning and it's best just to get loaded and go. So, even though he had a terrible headache (whee!), Iain loaded up Duncan so that they could ride the train and I would follow shortly with Claire and Finn and we meet at Big Tex.

Got to the fair, got Big Red unloaded. Did I mention that this sucker weighs 46 pounds? Which, with both babies in it makes at least 90 pounds, not counting accoutrements? Met up with D and I at Big Tex as planned at started our day. Oh, there was plenty of whining, feet dragging, puddle splashing, and some tears. But there was also corny dogs, trains, new cars, Big Tex (oh, so many times, Big Tex. We love you so much.), the dog show, the petting zoo and the creepy midway. And, speaking of the dog show, our sweet Claire is a bit like a drunken sailor at shows, we have learned. Lots of screeching and clapping and laughing. Loudly.

And on and on we dragged. Saw all the people selling the crazy showers with lights and DVD players, people using those personal scooters who don't need them, all the school children on field trips in their red t-shirts (hey! I put my kid in one too! So he'd stand out! Except he didn't so much.) and all the zany-ness that is the fair.

Oh, and remember those nice footie pajamas I talked about earlier? Yes, well, the clouds broke at about 2:30 and ohgmygawditwasthesteamiestdayever. And we had run/ran (cannot ever remember which is correct) out of water (because we are thrifty and bring our own environmentally correct nalgene bottle) and I was not about to hoof it all over that fair with 90 pounds of stroller and hot sweaty baby to find it. So I got a little whiny myself. Until we found some water fountains. Whew!

Had an awesome day. Pics in next post.

Boooooo

What I Have Come to Accept and Know

• My early postings to this blog had much more clever titles.
• My right index finger is just going to hurt. Think I sprained it a few months ago opening a jar of baby food.
• I have hairs on my chin and they must be removed.
• It is okay to feel sleepy. Deal with it.
• Children continue to grow and change. For better or for worse.
• It is okay for husbands and wives to be angry with each other.
• Church makes me feel good.
• Family is critical. Friends are very, very important.
• I love to eat. I must move more than I eat.
• It is okay to be a little late.
• The book is always better than the movie.
• Kids do not need or want lots of things. We only think they do.
• Toilets do not clean themselves.
• My mother was usually right.

Claire

So, my daughter, the one I was (secretly) the most afraid of raising is turning out to be a very interesting, engaging child. She still only has two teeth, compared to her twin brother's seven, so she still has that sweet, semi-gummy smile. And she is loud. She squaks. She protests. She defies us to lie her down in her bed and just leave her there. I am intrigued by her. Oh, and me? The mom who said I would never do bows, but probably just do cute, preppy, grosgrain ribbon headbands later? Is Googling "bald baby hair bows". It's a slippery slope, people. Had a friend in MOPS make me some little ribbon hair clips and I'm completely sucked in.

However, my sweet, bald, almost toothless baby girl has this scratching problem. She really can go to town on her forehead at night. Not sure why she's doing it, and it has gotten better but there are some days that I get her out of bed and she looks like she's been in a barfight. I suspect allergies...and we've started her on Nasonex. And let me tell you how fun that is.

So, why is it that I think of all these great things to blog about when I'm in bed adn my Ambien is taking effect? Just kidding about the Ambien part...really, I am. I just got through sobbing my way through yesterday's Oprah with the mom of four who was severely burned when her small plane crashed. She was in a coma for three months while they treated her burns and says she had a death experience where she was given the choice to die and go to Heaven or return to life on earth and live a hard life, but with her husband and children. She chose her family and says it was an easy decision, even knowing how hard her life would be. She is almost completely burned, but you can see how lovely and beautiful she is. Inspiring.

Duncan is at his Aunt Becky's and Granny's and I miss him like crazy but it's so nice and peaceful here, y'all. Claire and Finn are sleeping. Big Daddy comes home tonight from L.A. Oh! Spoke too soon! Babies awake. More later.

Wednesday

Duncan woke up a bit too early for me, so I let him come into the living room with the promise he'd sit quietly and watch TV until I was ready to get up. Ahh...hello friend, your name is futile. I got up a bit later, and came in here with him (by now it was almost 7:00 so I was not completely grumpy). By 7:30 Claire and Finn were ready to be scooped out of bed and gotten out of there completely soggy diapers. Note to Pampers People: Your overnight diapers are crummy. Back to Huggies for me.



It's now 9:01 and Duncan is already asking to make Halloween cookies. Why do I even give him a glimmer of hope before I'm ready to do something? He has gone to get the flour out of the pantry and I'm still not dressed with only one cup of coffee in my system and both babies no where near ready for a nap. As I speak, they are both crawling towards the electric outlet in the floor with a gleam in there eyes. Said outlet is babyproofed. Finn now has my reading glasses in his hands. I should go. More later.

Out of the Mouths of Moms

Things I said between breakfast and lunch yesterday:

• "Duncan, get off the television"


• "No, you cannot eat the fish frozen"


• "Don't eat your boogers"


• "You cannot chew on that pee pee diaper"


• "One jelly sandwich, no crusts...trade ya for those scissors"


• "Get off your brother"


• "Get off your sister"


• "Hockey is not an indoor game"


• "Okay, you can play hockey in the hallway"


• "We have to keep your brother out of the refrigerator"

Grateful for Granny's and Aunt Becky's visit yesterday afternoon to break things up while Daddy is in Los Angeles.

October

I broke down in tears tonight when I saw Duncan's little jeans in a pile in the middle of the kitchen floor. Not because I'd have to pick them up (sigh) but because he still wears little jeans. I want him to wear little jeans for a long, long time. I'm also sad because his feet are too big for Keds Scooters. I've saved every pair he's had...the red ones.

October. You are a mess for me. You bring so many emotions. Ziggy. My precious first born. The boy who made me a parent. I miss you so deeply I can't even find words to write about how much. You have given me so much. Right after you died I would not have believed how happy I would be eight years later. Because of you, I am somehow able to (almost) daily reflect on how grateful I am to be able to be a mommy to these living, breathing children. So, at night, when they are all finally in bed and I go in Duncan's bathroom and see all of his bath toys in a pile in the empty, just-drained tub and his underwear on the floor I am grateful I am the one to clean it up. I am grateful that we have so many diapers to throw away and bottles to wash and mouths to feed. I wish I'd been able to clean up after you, my sweet child, and to feed you and hear your voice but to think of all I've lost is just too much for me most days. Some days I let myself feel it but even then it is hard and scary. I have to do it, though. So, in these early days of October you are heavy on my heart and the sadness creeps back in. How has it only been eight years since I held you? The pain is too acute, still, to think about it for too long.

Then, October creeps along and we have a chance to celebrate the lives of your baby brother and sister and I reel in the fact that I've got three more children! Three beautiful, happy, healthy, wild, seeminly insatiable children. They truly are a poor man's therapy and most days there is a nugget of wisdom to be attained. Patience. Love. Tolerance. Self-Examination. Truth. Respect. Honesty.

It's raining now, and all three of the kids are sleeping. I go check on them, watch them sleep and breathe and thank God that they are here and that in the morning, they will be doing their best to drive me nuts.

Sideways Dancing Okapi

Our family is not the most orderly or organized. Our home is a bit out of order, with some piles lying around...toys on the floor and the dishwasher almost always needs to be loaded or unloaded. Five people and one small house can be a bit chaotic. And when I say small, I mean small. As is about 1600 square feet. One living area. No play room. No media room. All three bedrooms just a stone's throw (if you are a two year old) from the living area. Not alot of places to be alone around here.

But, we laugh alot. We have alot of fun together. Our kids are always with us, usually in the same room and if not, they are within shouting distance. We have one TV and while right now it's just really Iain and I who share the TV, when our kids are old enough to watch TV with us at night, I believe we will all five be in front of the same one.

We have a few rituals that have evolved, that probably make no sense to anyone else. When we talk about them, we don't even try to explain them because, well, we can't. One of them is the Cheetah Run. I can't even say where it began but every night, Iain and Duncan run around the family room, in a chase, pretending to be cheetahs. Thus, the Cheetah Run. Lately, Duncan decided that he was not going to be a cheetah anymore but wanted to be a sideways dancing okapi. So he is, and he dances sideways during the cheetah run. Finn and Claire and I usually sit on the sidelines for the race and watch Daddy and Duncan run through the living room, dining room and our tiny galley kitchen, in circles. Everyone laughs, and at some point during the race, Iain grabs Duncan and cheats by pulling ahead of him or cutting through the kitchen backwards and backtracking through the dining area. It's just a thing. We do it. We look forward to it and our kids seem to take some crazy comfort in the ritual. Lately, Finn and Claire have gotten to be more a part of the action while Iain carries one of them.

Baby Sideways Dancing Okapi.

What is wrong with this picture?

How many possible bad scenarios can you come up with?

Just kind of normal stuff

Kind of a strange weekend, time wise. But it's been a good one. Had my MOPS meeting on Friday, which was great. Duncan did better than I'd expected at drop off, well, correction...drop off was tough, but he was fine a few minutes later and had alot of fun once his friends showed up and he was no longer in the "early bird" room. The meeting? Total awesomeness. I have a fantastically fantastic MOPS group. Cannot say enough about it. My discussion group this year also holds a great deal of promise. Picked up Duncan, Claire and Finn after the meeting and everyone was happy, if not tired. Came home and Claire and Finn took nice long naps, which was good.

Because, later that night it was back to church for Marriage One on One. I expected Duncan to have a tough time again, because we spend alot of time at church and I'm nervous that he's going to get totally burned out. Again, drop off was tough, but there were no tears shed and when we picked him up later that night he was in a great mood and had obviously had fun. It was almost ten o'clock...and both babies were still awake and had not slept at all. OHmyGaWDtheyaregoingTObeSOstinKINGtired. Got everyone home, and in bed. Claire was a limp little baby girl and did not wake up when we took her out of the car seat but of course both boys...wide awake. Not for long, though.

However, this morning...no sleeping late for my kids. No way! Why should we sleep late?? Up and at 'em. Chocolate milk, bottles, some Cheerio, a little Lazy Town and we are ready to go. Naps were wonky today. Out of sync. Off schedule. Duncan had a fun, bowling alley birthday party and we had some family over throughout the day. Rained all day. Kids took late naps so were up late but now, at 9:32 everyone is still asleep and the Screaming Eagles of UNT are winning. It's rained all day, I've had yummy pumpkin candles burning and 2 cups of chai tea. So today? Gets about a 9 on a scale of 1-10.

Dinner and baths

Got all three kids fed at the table (hello September goal, I am looking at you). Duncan decided who would sit where, then proceeded to steal food off of Claire and Finn's trays but in the end everyone was full, if not disgustingly dirty. Hence, the immediate baths. I just bathe them in the sink in the kitchen. In part for sheer proximity to the high chairs and in part to save my 43 year old back. They love it and splash water everywhere. And suck on the faucet. Blech. In the end, everyone was clean and happy! And nobody peed on the floor before I got diapers on.

Granny's Green Daisy Cake

The green sprinkles were not my idea. Quelle surprise!

Sous Chefs

Today we made a birthday cake for Granny (see next post for finished product.) Claire and Finn only supervised, of course, until they grew too restless in their highchairs and had to get on the floor and crawl amongst my feet and stand right where I needed to be. But I digress. So, we made a lemon daisy cake which turned out pretty great. Until Duncan decided to taste the finished product and it now has a corner missing. But it was fun! I think I am instilling in my kids my love of cooking. Now for a big kitchen...

Finn

This child is...I just don't have words. He injures himself daily, if not more frequently. He is fearless and focused. I will admit to not keeping a constant eye on him, but almost always know where he is and what he's doing. Opening (and shutting...over and over and over again) cabinets, pulling on drapes, finding the router (what IS a router?) and pounding on it...oh I could go on and on. He has a big bruise on his forehead that appeared today but I have no idea how he got it...honestly. He may be the first one to the emergency room for an injury and not an illness (I'm looking at you my sweet Claire). He has six teeth and has no time for baby food. Just give him chunks of anything, and some crackers and he's good. And he eats...alot...and often. And gets very dirty. He and Duncan are going to keep me knee deep in laundry and trips to the grocery store. How my grocery shopping has changed (and will continue to do so!) since it was just Iain and me. Central Market was my regular grocery store of choice! It was just about the only place I shopped and would take my time, buy interesting new things, a couple of bottles of wine, expensive ice cream. Ha! Now I drive to the closest Albertson's, load them all in the nasty, disgusting car cart because I can fit the two babies in the top part and Duncan in the pink-eye-pit that is the "car" part of "car cart" and look for the "buy 1 get 2 free" meat specials. I am not a germaphobe but those car carts really do gross me out.

I digress.

I now buy two loaves of bread at once. Gallons of milk. 18 eggs instead of a dozen. And my children are still very small. What is my future going to be like?

First Day Pre-K 4

New lunchbox! Woo Hoo!

Saying goodbye to Claire and Finn...

New teachers Amy and Stevie...and clingy Duncan.

Pre-K 4, Day 1

Did not go off too badly. Although a bit of denial was in play ("can we go to Hawaiin Falls Monday Maui Moms Club before we go to school?") he did well. A bit clingy at drop-off, but I'm sure by now he's fine. He's got plenty of friends in his class. New lunch box only added to the excitement (anyone know where I can get a lunchbox like the ones we used to have?).

Got home and am wondering what in the world to do with myself. Babies are not-trying to nap, but I am forcing them. So much goes through my head at night and then here I am, with some time to do stuff and I seem paralzyed. I do need to change Claire's and Finn's crib sheets because ohmygoshtheyaredisgusting. But can't do that right now. Can't really do laundry because my washing machine and dryer are SO LOUD THEY COULD WAKE THE DEAD. Maybe I will research new washers and dryers.

Pics later of drop off.

End of Summer Fun!

This summer, while Duncan has been on breaks from school, we've had "Days of Special Fun" (better than Escaping from the House) and it has been much more fun and rewarding than I'd anticipated, especially the times that I've just had Duncan. Top pic is when I took all three of them on the light rail system (earned a merit badge, there, people) to a playground and train museum. Today we went to a great indoor amusement "park" where they could ride little rides and stuff.

I'm going to miss our Days of Fun.

Three Hundred and Sixty Something

That's how many days we have until Duncan will start kindergarten. I already am feeling the tug. It sounds so cliche but it does go so quickly. I feel an urge to savor every single day of this upcoming school year. I feel a hesitation...should we hold him back? Wait another year? He is a summer boy, after all. But then, he would be a year behind most of his peers at church/school and I worry about that too. What a futile feeling, wanting time to stand still. But I do. I want four going on five to last and last and last. As I looked at, and loved seeing, all of the first-day-of-school pictures of friends of mine I had a knot in my stomach imagining myself next year.

But, send him we will, I suppose. So, for the next three hundred and sixty something days I still have him mostly to myself and do plan to savor this year and try to enjoy it on a daily basis. More fun, more play, more appreciation. Less worry. Less wishing time away, like I've been so guilty of in the past. It just seems that time will only speed up after this and first grade will come even faster...and so on.

So, for now, I am so grateful for the laughs and the tender moments as well as the exasperating ones, like throwing my keys in the toilet and filling the (empty) flowerbeds with water for your tractors. Oh, and pushing all of the books off the bookshelf because you saw Finn do it. Yes, even for all of those my sweet. Your fourness will be gone all too soon and I will miss it, just like I miss your threeness and your twoness and your oneness.

Tonight I will no doubt be clinging to the edge of the queen size bed, even though the only other occupant is a small boy who takes up more than his fair share and seems to want to sleep horizontally, and will want a drink of water at 3:47 a.m. And I will cherish that, too. Even though your head is kind of stinky.

Self-Fullfilling Prophesy

It's happened just like I thought it would. We have one week left before preschool starts and I'm starting to feel the tug and tear up easily when I think about this being the last year I will have him home with me more than not, during the week. Must stop now and gather my emotions. Back later.

Dinner

Turkey croquettes = Labor of Love.

First time to make them...did not read recipe thoroughly and did not allow for 2-hour chill period thus made them a day late (yesterday.) Turned out pretty good. Wish I had a fry daddy. Next time might just brown them in a skillet rather than deep fry because I never know what to do with leftover oil.

Saturday

It's 9:09 and I'm already exhausted. We all woke up at 6:30! To see the big planet in the sky! (Venus?).



Iain has gone to play raquetball with his dad and I'm home with the kids. One benefit of waking up so early is that both babies have already gone back down for a morning nap and I suspect Duncan will go to bed early. We have a swimming birthday party this afternoon, which should wear him out nicely.



On another note,



Dear Cooking,



Oh, how I have missed you and how I long to be reunited with my favorite hobby. My goal for September is to get back into the very wonderful routine of family dinner, at the table. Now that Finn and Claire can participate it is one of my main goals for next month. I also think it will help that it gets darker sooner and that swimming at Becky's and Granny's on an almost daily basis will cease. I will make sure the dining room table is clear of baby bags, books, calendars and crayons and we will move forward together.



Love,

Me

Camp Mommy - Day 3

Okay, so I totally skipped Day 2.

Day 3 of my 21 Day Camp Mommy. Duncan had spent the night with my mom last night so this morning I "only" had Claire and Finn. It is remarkably easier, though, when we just have any combination of 2 out of the 3 kids. Had our usual morning, without Duncan though, and then were off to Granny's. Apparently he was a perfect angel until I showed up, then decided to turn it up a notch. Why? I don't understand. Granny was off to the dentist and we were just hangin' out at Granny's, not napping, until about 2:00 when both Claire and Finn finally napped. Duncan and I swam for a bit, both babies woke up and we came home. Duncan fell asleep in the car, so it was a nice quiet ride. Got home, got the babies fed and let them roll/crawl around, fed Duncan (thanks Emily for the awesome dinner!). Daddy came home and we got them all in bed with only a few mishaps. Tired kids are the hardest to get to bed sometimes. Why is that????

I'm trying to lose ten pounds by my birthday so no sweets in the house. Cherries are good, but they are no substitute for a good old bowl of ice cream. Sigh.

Tomorrow....I have no idea. I am sure Duncan will wake up wondering what we'll do. I have Irma coming to clean so she can help with the babies for a bit if I want to get Duncan out of the house. Aunt Becky comes home from her cruise tomorrow night. Hope she's well rested!

In Between Time

So, no preschool for 3 weeks. It's tough for me because on one hand, Duncan is a social, fun-loving kid who wakes up asking me what we are going to do that day. It's exhausting. I love that kid, and as soon as I get a chance to get some "me" time I miss him like crazy but Oh.My.Gawd. He is exhausting.

So, we gear up for three weeks at home. The first week is the hardest. Strangely, the days go faster now that I have three small children at home. There simply are not enough hours in the day to get everything done so I'm surprised at how quickly a day at home with all three of them can go. But, the first week we are all here, all day, every day, is still tough. Not a minute to myself, really, and for an introvert like me that's draining. No chance to recharge.

Week 2 goes a bit better. I feel like I've gotten one week under my belt and secretly think to myself "next week is our last week of this!" We do much of what we did via trial and error on week one, and get through it okay.

By Week 3, something strange happens. I start to get used to having them all three (read: Duncan) home all the time. I start to savor the moments, and know that in just one more year he will be gone so much more from under my wing. I embrace the all-day-every-day parenting and we generally have a totally great time and I dread the first week of school. Ah, cruel world.

The babies are getting really fun. Finn is everywhere. Into everything. He loves to look outside and will stand at the window and holler/scream in anticipation of it. He will flick every single magnet/toy off of the dryer (they don't stick to my new stainless fridge! Grrr!) over and over again. He's just funny. Funny to watch and play with. Claire is sweet, easy and non-mobile. She watches, and tries but so far I can walk away from her and be pretty secure in not worrying if she's head first in the dryer or something.

So, here it is. Day 1 of 21. Will try to blog daily. Right now, Claire is sleeping. Finn is in his crib, not sleeping. Duncan is naked, watching Caillou. And I am counting the hours until gymnastics at 4:30!

Vacation - Montana

After we left Idaho, we drove to Montana, just south of Missoula where we stayed with my brother Randy and his wife, Frankie. And their two dogs, Gabby and Curtis E. Curtis E. is the bigger of the two, and the puppy. Lots of fun here as well. See for yourself.

Vacation Part II

See? Here I am, reading. Notice there are no children in the picture.

Vacation Part I

What a truly terrific time we had. Flew to Spokane (after delays, missed connections, overnight stays in unexpected places) and drove straight to Kelly Fork, where we stayed in a beautiful cabin about twenty yards from the river. Cold, clear water with great fly fishing, campfires, cocktails, horses, and family. I even got to read, people. I read an actual book, for pleasure.

When Duncan packs...

I found these interesting items among the many, many, many small cars, trucks, trains, spiderman figures, puzzle pieces, toy tools, etc...that he packed in his carry on.

Our plane leaves at 6:00 p.m. He has been asking to leave for the airport since 6:00 a.m.

It's going to be a long day.

Carbon

 

 

 

 

Copies.

Duncan, about 9 months...Finn, about 9 months.

Just stuff

I am off to a MOPS potluck dinner. Very excited. Iain is in Seattle, Duncan and Claire are at my sister's and my mom's and I have a sweet babysitter here for Finn. Freedom. Girlfriends. Fun.

Leaving for vacation in just three days. We have not had a vacation in five years, oh gentle readers. FIVE years. So. Excited. Going to Washington (state), northern Idaho and Montana to visit my brothers and their families. Duncan's first plane ride. Poor Claire and Finn are staying.

Speaking of plane rides, the morons at US Air put me in row 8 and Duncan in row 12. Can we talk about what a catastrophic scene it would have been if this was how it was to be? The tears? The devastation? And we wont even talk about what Duncan would have done. I don't know that I've actually ever yelled at anyone on the phone before until the idiot at the call center in an un-named country. Do not mess with the momma bear in me. I will tear that plane apart to have that boy in the seat next to mine. Got it done. Thanks, US Air. You will get lots of bad publicity from me.

Got my cakeballs made and my jewelry on. Momma's goin' out.