Three Hundred and Sixty Something

That's how many days we have until Duncan will start kindergarten. I already am feeling the tug. It sounds so cliche but it does go so quickly. I feel an urge to savor every single day of this upcoming school year. I feel a hesitation...should we hold him back? Wait another year? He is a summer boy, after all. But then, he would be a year behind most of his peers at church/school and I worry about that too. What a futile feeling, wanting time to stand still. But I do. I want four going on five to last and last and last. As I looked at, and loved seeing, all of the first-day-of-school pictures of friends of mine I had a knot in my stomach imagining myself next year.

But, send him we will, I suppose. So, for the next three hundred and sixty something days I still have him mostly to myself and do plan to savor this year and try to enjoy it on a daily basis. More fun, more play, more appreciation. Less worry. Less wishing time away, like I've been so guilty of in the past. It just seems that time will only speed up after this and first grade will come even faster...and so on.

So, for now, I am so grateful for the laughs and the tender moments as well as the exasperating ones, like throwing my keys in the toilet and filling the (empty) flowerbeds with water for your tractors. Oh, and pushing all of the books off the bookshelf because you saw Finn do it. Yes, even for all of those my sweet. Your fourness will be gone all too soon and I will miss it, just like I miss your threeness and your twoness and your oneness.

Tonight I will no doubt be clinging to the edge of the queen size bed, even though the only other occupant is a small boy who takes up more than his fair share and seems to want to sleep horizontally, and will want a drink of water at 3:47 a.m. And I will cherish that, too. Even though your head is kind of stinky.