Friday, October 04, 2013

Where Does The Time Go?



Sometimes I hardly know where to start.  It’s been so long since I’ve blogged and it feels like too much has happened so I become paralyzed and don’t blog.  I seem to think of great things to write about when I am lying in bed with one of the kids, late at night, and everything is quiet.  Or, when I am driving and once again, things are relatively quiet.  Then I get caught up in the business of every day life….or the busy-ness of it…and all thoughts go out the window.  Well, all bloggy thoughts.  Others take over like dinner, lunch, breakfast, homework, etc…

Since my last post, we have survived summer, I turned 48, endured my 30th high school reunion, Duncan started 3rd grade and all that it entails, and Claire and Finn have started Pre-K and are fast approaching their 5th birthday. Out of all of those things, probably my 48th birthday has had the most impact.  Time is fleeting.  It does go more quickly with each passing year.  I see these children now, still small and young and unfinished and sometimes my heart starts to ache at the thought of them becoming large, independent people.  We are in a bit of a sweet spot with all of them.  Some days, I don’t want it to end.  I know, when I lie in bed with Finn at the end of the day, grateful for bedtime, that it will not always be this way.  Eventually, he will just go to bed, whenever, and alone, with no need for me.  Even Duncan, at 8, still wants me in there so that is some comfort. 

But, growing older does seem to smack you in the face sometimes.  I have not yet embraced the chin hairs, the lines, the grays, the pooch.  But I have accepted them.  Maybe even earned them?  Other things matter more…much more.  Preserving our family, building relationships with the kids.  Cherishing friends.  Spirituality.  Home.

Hey, speaking of home…we are into some major DIY stuff and after 2 years might even make this house we live in home.  I think I’ve blogged about my lack of house love.  We had a terrible set of sellers who kind of tainted this house for me.  Pair that with some really wacko next door neighbors and some days I felt like it was all a huge mistake.  If it were not for the school and the people in our neighborhood I cannot imagine we would have stayed in this house as long as we have.  But now, that might be changing.  I still long for a “For Sale” sign next door, but am more focused on this house and making it ours, which we are doing.  I even have some fondness for it and see ways in which we can make it the house we love.

Clearly, I have problems staying on track with thoughts.

Will try to blog more often.


I also learned how to take out all of the neck wrinkles with Picasa.  You are welcome.

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