End of Summer Fun!

This summer, while Duncan has been on breaks from school, we've had "Days of Special Fun" (better than Escaping from the House) and it has been much more fun and rewarding than I'd anticipated, especially the times that I've just had Duncan. Top pic is when I took all three of them on the light rail system (earned a merit badge, there, people) to a playground and train museum. Today we went to a great indoor amusement "park" where they could ride little rides and stuff.

I'm going to miss our Days of Fun.

Three Hundred and Sixty Something

That's how many days we have until Duncan will start kindergarten. I already am feeling the tug. It sounds so cliche but it does go so quickly. I feel an urge to savor every single day of this upcoming school year. I feel a hesitation...should we hold him back? Wait another year? He is a summer boy, after all. But then, he would be a year behind most of his peers at church/school and I worry about that too. What a futile feeling, wanting time to stand still. But I do. I want four going on five to last and last and last. As I looked at, and loved seeing, all of the first-day-of-school pictures of friends of mine I had a knot in my stomach imagining myself next year.

But, send him we will, I suppose. So, for the next three hundred and sixty something days I still have him mostly to myself and do plan to savor this year and try to enjoy it on a daily basis. More fun, more play, more appreciation. Less worry. Less wishing time away, like I've been so guilty of in the past. It just seems that time will only speed up after this and first grade will come even faster...and so on.

So, for now, I am so grateful for the laughs and the tender moments as well as the exasperating ones, like throwing my keys in the toilet and filling the (empty) flowerbeds with water for your tractors. Oh, and pushing all of the books off the bookshelf because you saw Finn do it. Yes, even for all of those my sweet. Your fourness will be gone all too soon and I will miss it, just like I miss your threeness and your twoness and your oneness.

Tonight I will no doubt be clinging to the edge of the queen size bed, even though the only other occupant is a small boy who takes up more than his fair share and seems to want to sleep horizontally, and will want a drink of water at 3:47 a.m. And I will cherish that, too. Even though your head is kind of stinky.

Self-Fullfilling Prophesy

It's happened just like I thought it would. We have one week left before preschool starts and I'm starting to feel the tug and tear up easily when I think about this being the last year I will have him home with me more than not, during the week. Must stop now and gather my emotions. Back later.

Dinner

Turkey croquettes = Labor of Love.

First time to make them...did not read recipe thoroughly and did not allow for 2-hour chill period thus made them a day late (yesterday.) Turned out pretty good. Wish I had a fry daddy. Next time might just brown them in a skillet rather than deep fry because I never know what to do with leftover oil.

Saturday

It's 9:09 and I'm already exhausted. We all woke up at 6:30! To see the big planet in the sky! (Venus?).



Iain has gone to play raquetball with his dad and I'm home with the kids. One benefit of waking up so early is that both babies have already gone back down for a morning nap and I suspect Duncan will go to bed early. We have a swimming birthday party this afternoon, which should wear him out nicely.



On another note,



Dear Cooking,



Oh, how I have missed you and how I long to be reunited with my favorite hobby. My goal for September is to get back into the very wonderful routine of family dinner, at the table. Now that Finn and Claire can participate it is one of my main goals for next month. I also think it will help that it gets darker sooner and that swimming at Becky's and Granny's on an almost daily basis will cease. I will make sure the dining room table is clear of baby bags, books, calendars and crayons and we will move forward together.



Love,

Me

Camp Mommy - Day 3

Okay, so I totally skipped Day 2.

Day 3 of my 21 Day Camp Mommy. Duncan had spent the night with my mom last night so this morning I "only" had Claire and Finn. It is remarkably easier, though, when we just have any combination of 2 out of the 3 kids. Had our usual morning, without Duncan though, and then were off to Granny's. Apparently he was a perfect angel until I showed up, then decided to turn it up a notch. Why? I don't understand. Granny was off to the dentist and we were just hangin' out at Granny's, not napping, until about 2:00 when both Claire and Finn finally napped. Duncan and I swam for a bit, both babies woke up and we came home. Duncan fell asleep in the car, so it was a nice quiet ride. Got home, got the babies fed and let them roll/crawl around, fed Duncan (thanks Emily for the awesome dinner!). Daddy came home and we got them all in bed with only a few mishaps. Tired kids are the hardest to get to bed sometimes. Why is that????

I'm trying to lose ten pounds by my birthday so no sweets in the house. Cherries are good, but they are no substitute for a good old bowl of ice cream. Sigh.

Tomorrow....I have no idea. I am sure Duncan will wake up wondering what we'll do. I have Irma coming to clean so she can help with the babies for a bit if I want to get Duncan out of the house. Aunt Becky comes home from her cruise tomorrow night. Hope she's well rested!

In Between Time

So, no preschool for 3 weeks. It's tough for me because on one hand, Duncan is a social, fun-loving kid who wakes up asking me what we are going to do that day. It's exhausting. I love that kid, and as soon as I get a chance to get some "me" time I miss him like crazy but Oh.My.Gawd. He is exhausting.

So, we gear up for three weeks at home. The first week is the hardest. Strangely, the days go faster now that I have three small children at home. There simply are not enough hours in the day to get everything done so I'm surprised at how quickly a day at home with all three of them can go. But, the first week we are all here, all day, every day, is still tough. Not a minute to myself, really, and for an introvert like me that's draining. No chance to recharge.

Week 2 goes a bit better. I feel like I've gotten one week under my belt and secretly think to myself "next week is our last week of this!" We do much of what we did via trial and error on week one, and get through it okay.

By Week 3, something strange happens. I start to get used to having them all three (read: Duncan) home all the time. I start to savor the moments, and know that in just one more year he will be gone so much more from under my wing. I embrace the all-day-every-day parenting and we generally have a totally great time and I dread the first week of school. Ah, cruel world.

The babies are getting really fun. Finn is everywhere. Into everything. He loves to look outside and will stand at the window and holler/scream in anticipation of it. He will flick every single magnet/toy off of the dryer (they don't stick to my new stainless fridge! Grrr!) over and over again. He's just funny. Funny to watch and play with. Claire is sweet, easy and non-mobile. She watches, and tries but so far I can walk away from her and be pretty secure in not worrying if she's head first in the dryer or something.

So, here it is. Day 1 of 21. Will try to blog daily. Right now, Claire is sleeping. Finn is in his crib, not sleeping. Duncan is naked, watching Caillou. And I am counting the hours until gymnastics at 4:30!

Vacation - Montana

After we left Idaho, we drove to Montana, just south of Missoula where we stayed with my brother Randy and his wife, Frankie. And their two dogs, Gabby and Curtis E. Curtis E. is the bigger of the two, and the puppy. Lots of fun here as well. See for yourself.

Vacation Part II

See? Here I am, reading. Notice there are no children in the picture.

Vacation Part I

What a truly terrific time we had. Flew to Spokane (after delays, missed connections, overnight stays in unexpected places) and drove straight to Kelly Fork, where we stayed in a beautiful cabin about twenty yards from the river. Cold, clear water with great fly fishing, campfires, cocktails, horses, and family. I even got to read, people. I read an actual book, for pleasure.

When Duncan packs...

I found these interesting items among the many, many, many small cars, trucks, trains, spiderman figures, puzzle pieces, toy tools, etc...that he packed in his carry on.

Our plane leaves at 6:00 p.m. He has been asking to leave for the airport since 6:00 a.m.

It's going to be a long day.

Carbon

 

 

 

 

Copies.

Duncan, about 9 months...Finn, about 9 months.

Just stuff

I am off to a MOPS potluck dinner. Very excited. Iain is in Seattle, Duncan and Claire are at my sister's and my mom's and I have a sweet babysitter here for Finn. Freedom. Girlfriends. Fun.

Leaving for vacation in just three days. We have not had a vacation in five years, oh gentle readers. FIVE years. So. Excited. Going to Washington (state), northern Idaho and Montana to visit my brothers and their families. Duncan's first plane ride. Poor Claire and Finn are staying.

Speaking of plane rides, the morons at US Air put me in row 8 and Duncan in row 12. Can we talk about what a catastrophic scene it would have been if this was how it was to be? The tears? The devastation? And we wont even talk about what Duncan would have done. I don't know that I've actually ever yelled at anyone on the phone before until the idiot at the call center in an un-named country. Do not mess with the momma bear in me. I will tear that plane apart to have that boy in the seat next to mine. Got it done. Thanks, US Air. You will get lots of bad publicity from me.

Got my cakeballs made and my jewelry on. Momma's goin' out.

End of Day

 

It sure ended better than it began. Had a great playdate and enjoyed all three of my kids right up until bedtime. Blessings.

Baby's Got Back

 

7/15/09 Morning

4:30 a.m. - Claire crying...give her bottle in bed. Everyone back to sleep. Duncan is next to me. Where is Iain? Where is the bedspread?

6:00 a.m. - Iain is up, doing something. Why? Claire crying again. I tell Iain make sure she has her bottle and again, everyone back asleep.

7:06 a.m. - Duncan asks where we are going today and can we get up. He hears both babies and must immediately go to them. Why???? They are not crying. I feel no urge, but we go. Duncan gets in bed with Finn..much laughter...and I pick up Claire. Eventually go back to get the boys. Where is Iain? We call him and find out he's gone to the gym and to work.

7:15 a.m. - 9:20 a.m. - Have 1st cup of coffee...ahhh...babies play in floor until things start getting rough. Claire knocks Finn over and I warn them that I'll have to separate them if they keep it up. Duncan gets on couch and pulls all of my clean, folded laundry on top of him to make a "campsite". Duncan walks up to me with poop on his hand and tells me "Finn is poopie...I just stuck my hand in it." Nice. Iain calls to discuss his expense reports. Duncan wants avacado. Finn has enormous, messy poopy diaper. All at once. Get Finn changed, all hands well washed, get expense reports fairly worked out, get both babies back down for naps. Still need 2nd cup of coffee.

9:34 - Having 2nd cup of coffee, both babies asleep, am going to go shower for playdate with great friend Marjorie, her boy Grant (Duncan's great friend) and her twin girls who are just a few weeks older than C and F. We totally comiserate. It's awesome.

4 years, 8.5 months

Duncan at 4: Tender, wild, emotional, friendly, active, love of my life. He makes me crazy, but I cannot stand to be away from him.

Claire at 8.5 months: Funny, shy, happy, affectionate, laid back. She is truly our sweet baby girl. Breaks into a funny face when she sees someone she loves. Loves the water beit bath or swimming pool. Tries to lick everything. Screams for attention. Goes to sleep like a dream. Wakes up happy. Constipated. Not good at eating baby food. Sitting up but not pulling up. Not much hair, but there is hope.

Finn at 8.5 months: Happiest baby I've had. Cannot wipe silly grin off of his face unless you hurt his feelings, then the tears flow. Strong as an ox. Pulls up to a stand. May skip crawling and go straight to walking. Eats and poops alot. Laughs hysterically at anything Duncan does and truly shows hero worship qualities. I want to eat him up he is so delicious. Chubby with two bottom teeth, head full of brown wavy hair and dimples. Cannot decide if more girls will chase Duncan or Finn because I think I'm going to have two really handsome boys.

MOPS

I am just coming off a high of an overnight retreat for my MOPS Steering Committee. I feel so fortunate to be a part of this group of women. I really can't find words to express just how fortunate, or how blessed. They are smart, funny, real, loving, aware, and have a heart for ministry and for moms. Just to be a mom is still something that I have to catch my breath and pinch myself, to make sure it's real. But to be a mom among this group of women is one of the biggest blessings of my life.

So, thank you, fellow steering committee members, for the shot in the arm, the hugs, the laughs (oh the laughs!) and for being on this earth, at this church, in this group at this time. Truly divine.

Our boys

 

 

 

 

Duncan seems particularly attached to Finn. I see glimpses of my future with these two boys and it seems wild and fun. Claire seems to just sit back and watch them in awe. It's really interesting to watch siblings close in age (I am 8 years younger than my closest sibling, so I did not have this growing up.)

There will be lots of forts in my future.

How did Dennis the Menace's mom do it?

Sittin' Up and Spittin' Up!

 

 

Four

Getting a little too grownup for me. Can you stay four for a while? You will still sit in my lap, and curl up next to me but I also sense the growing independence and it breaks. my. heart. into. a million. tiny. pieces.

I can barely think of how much I love your for fear my heart will shatter. You are mine? How is this beautiful boy mine? Not mine, in the sense that I own you, but mine to birth, mine to raise, mine to shape, mine to influence, mine to love, mine to hold, mine to mend, mine to comfort, mine to let go. Ah, here come the tears. You do this to me, boy.

Think I will go stare at you sleeping.

Love,
Mom

Now and then

 

 

Happy Birthday to my wonderful boy. I still need to work up the courage to write to you what is in my heart. It brings me to tears just thinking about it. Your dad and I love you so very, very deeply and are so proud to be your parents. Every single day I thank God for you, and for making us a family.

More later,

Love,
Mommy

When slinkys attack

 

Slinky bit back today. More on how my oldest is four today. Sob!

Sick Baby Feet

 

 

 

 

That purple line on her forehead? Where they tried to get about the 10th IV.

Starting with today...

So, I will start with the present so you know how this all ends.

Today, at 8:00 in the morning, Duncan was already in need of a shower. He had been outside in the backyard digging in the wet sand, waiting on his dad to get home (which he'd been doing since 6:00 a.m.) "Where's my dad?" "When does Daddy get home?" "Is he on the freeway?" "Did he bring me a tractor? A whale?" "When does my dad get home?" Constant. Since he opened his eyes. Claire is sleeping in her bed, in the dining room (but not for long, grasshopper!). Iain just called from the airport and he's getting his bag and will hop in a taxi! Must update the boy in the shower.

Yesterday was hard in that "I've slept in a chair for two nights and am so dead tired and my four year old misses his dad and my 8 month old daughter is crabby because she's had the flu and the croup and my 8 month old son has been at his Aunt Becky's all week" kind of way. Nothing was working right and I was out of sorts all day. I really cannot remember my last shower. Monday, perhaps? Thank God for great friends. My great friend Molly took Duncan to the Dallas Arboretum for a few hours to burn off some energy. But, yesterday was not my proudest mommy day. He ate lots of cookies, some yogurt, a cheese quesadilla and a kid's meal from Sonic. Any veg? Fruit? Not unless you count the strawberry slush I brought him.

Thursday...woke up in my chair, got Claire discharged and came home. I really am having a hard time recalling how Duncan got home, but he did. OH yes, my sister brought him for a playdate at great friend Betsy's and she brought him home. Thank you, Betsy for exhausting him. He was asleep by 7:30! Claire was feeling better, but not great. So very tired. Did not sleep well. Up every four hours with sick baby.

Wednesday. Still in PICU. Memories growing foggier. Was discharged to pediatric floor which was not as nice as PICU. Say much? We were in isolation room, which meant it was smaller and there was not a bed like I had been promised. I had to sleep in a chair again! Sadness. Sister brought Duncan up to hospital so I could take him to his end of the year choir party. I was really missing him at this point and was glad to have some time with him. Back to hospital and my chair. Did not sleep at all this night.

Tuesday. What? Where? In PICU with Claire. Lovely room, with awesome nurses but am sleeping in chair. Well, not really sleeping. Lying in chair. She is very sick, but will be fine. Fussy, irritable, coughing, just a bad scene all around. Had some visitors so I could take a few breaks. Lots of calls from a worried dad.

Monday. Um, okay. I should have known this would be a bad day when my hair dryer would not work. Was supposed to go have lunch with old dear friends at mom's and Becky's. Friends I have not seen or spent time with in years. Wanted to look half decent. Did shower, but hair dryer broke. Of course! Will go natural with hair, but can at least put on some makeup. Claire seems to be coughing alot...hmmm...I'll call Aunt Brenda. Oh, take her to the doctor! She will get a shot then we'll go on to Mom's and Becky's. I will just wear my swimsuit and cute coverup from Land's End. Can you see where this is going? Went to doctor's office with Finn and Claire and was sent right to ER. Much chaos...I think they were alarmed at how hard she was having to work to get a breath. After a breathing treatment she only deteriorated. Was put on heliox, and that seemed to help. Three people tried to put an IV in her and three people failed. My poor baby was completely worn out from being poked, and my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Had support of friends who came to my rescue, and sister who came to get Finn and bring him home. After six hours in ER, we were sent up to PICU where Claire finally settled a bit but was still pretty restless and sick. Aunt Brenda came and sent me home, where I later learned that no fewer than three more people tried and failed to get an IV in her, before the final nurse from the NICU was successful. Aunt Brenda stayed with her all night while I spent 8 glorious hours alone, asleep in my bed. Norma and Jori came by for moral support before I took my Ambien. Love you guys!

Sunday. Duncan's big family party! Hooray! Went to church and dropped off three healthy children at Sunday School. On the way to Granny's, Claire starts coughing. Oh drat...allergies and drainage! Proceed with party while Claire coughs a bit and will not nap. Hmm...she really is a party girl! Does not want to miss a thing! By 8:00 she is finally sleeping, but Duncan is a totally exhausted wreck and decides to spend the night...a blessing in disguise. On the way home, Claire's cough grows worse and I am up all night wiht her, knowing it's croup because she sounds exactly like a seal. Will call Aunt Brenda in the morning to see if there is anything I can do but am pretty sure she'll just have a few days of not feeling well.