Thursday, October 15, 2009

What I Believe and What I Don't Believe

  • I do not believe everything happens for a reason.
  • I do believe that when someone says, "everything happens for a reason" that they are just trying to make sense of your tragedy and make themselves feel a little bit better.
  • I do not believe that babies who have died become angels.
  • I do not believe that God needed my baby with Him in Heaven for any reason.
  • I do believe that my child who died was important and an integral part of my entire life.
  • I do believe that because of him, I am a different and better person.
  • I do believe that I was always meant to have all of my children. All four of them. How it all fits together, though, is still a mystery.
  • I do not believe I will ever understand why he died.
  • I do believe that I will see him again, but no longer pine for that day.

For all the babies who have died, and the moms and dads, brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and friends who no longer have them to hold...remembering on this October 15th.


  1. Remembering...

    ......Christie, My brother lost their 3 month old daughter when I was 12 weeks pregnant with Jake and Jack. It was awful. SIDS. Again, they lost another baby boy at 16 weeks pregnant. Cord. My mother also lost her 3 month old daughter, before I was born. SIDS. And also a son during delivery when I was 2. All awful. All devastating. My family understands your grief. There are no words. It doesn't make sense. Just when you think you wrap your head around it, it all vanishes and you feel like you are back to square one, and wandering how and why all over. You never get over it. I DO hope and pray that God grants you peace, love, understanding, hope, faith and pure joy. If I were there, I would drive over and HUG you! Since I can't, I am sending up many many prayers for you and your family! I know you are honoring and remembering Ziggy in a way that makes him feel loved, even from above. You are a good mommy to him!!! (and to Duncan, Finn and Claire) I believe you will be together one day too! I am sooo sooo happy you are raising your 3 children at home, making light of life, smiling, living and loving! You are an amazing women. You have gone through what so little can comprehend. You are a saint and you will be rewarded for your constant devotion to your family. I love you. Go to sleep tonight in peace. Let God show you his mercy, love and joy! :)

  2. Thinking about you and Ziggy. He gave you a great gift I'm so sorry the cost was so high.

  3. Thinking of you, Christie...knowing you are hurting but also that you are incredibly encouraging to others. May God bless you now and always.


  4. WoodysGirl8:41 AM

    Dear Ziggy... never forgotten.

    How is it possible that my heart can simultaneously ache for your loss, yet rejoice for your blessings? How much more difficult it must be for you to reconcile those two emotional states.

    Someday, Christie, your WHOLE family will be reunited. And THAT, dear friend, will be cause for true celebration. :-)

    With love and remembrance,